A CONFESSION OF AN
ANGRY MAN
MIKE CUNNINGHAM
JUNE 3, 2007
If we’re honest with ourselves we have to
admit we’ve been getting angry for as long as we can remember. We must also
acknowledge the fact that no one had to teach me how to become angry. In my own
case there were occasional times my Mom may have blown up in exasperation with
my younger sister and brother and me, but no one could say we lived in an angry
home with parents who were loose-cannons and crummy role models.
My anger just came naturally. It was
part of my nature.
I still remember an incident that occurred when
I was about five or six years old and living with my family in
I also didn’t want to have my picture taken by
one of those photographers who roamed the city streets carrying a big box
camera mounted on a wooden tri-part in one hand and holding the reins attached
to a smelly pony with the other. All my proud Mom wanted her boy to do was
stand next to the animal, hold its reins, look into the camera, smile and say cheese,
and trust the man who said, “Don’t worry kid. It won’t be in your picture. Ha
ha, as he pointed at the pony’s recently deposited bowel movement while my
mother nodded in agreement. I was a big city kid unaccustomed to being around that
kind of stuff and I freaked out and threw a temper tantrum.
That old photo of me as a little boy holding
on to the animals reins with an obviously phony smile on my flushed face is
still around in our home somewhere, but I don’t think I have ever told anyone
about that particular temper tantrum until now. I knew it was wrong even at
that early age, but the truth is I really didn’t care. I also haven’t shared the
details of the occasional ones I threw while I was a young man in my twenties
up until my early forties. That’s how ashamed I am of myself. And all because I
didn’t get my own way or someone disagreed with me, or the food or drink wasn’t
hot or cold enough, or another person didn’t live or act according to my
expectations or whatever.
I’ve been angry with classmates, teachers,
bosses and coworkers, baseball players and total strangers who seem to ignore
the ten item limit at a grocery store check out. Throughout the years some of
the folks I’ve been angriest with have also been those I love the most; the people
the Lord had planned and ordained to be my family. Until I figured out what was
happening, there were times when I’ve gotten angry with my wife while we were
driving in our car. Despite her insistence that she did, I angrily accused her
of not answering me. This continued for several years until I momentarily took
my eyes off the road and saw her silently nodding her head up and down or side
to side in answer to something I said.
I have also gotten angry with other drivers. So
much so, that I’ve given each of them a name. The same name! Regardless of
their gender; my wife and kids and grandchildren have heard me shout things
such as: “Come on Charlie, move it.” Or, “Hey Charley you idiot, who taught you
how to drive? I don’t do that anymore, but whenever one of those loved ones are
a passenger in our car and another driver cuts us off or whatever, he or her
will shout something such as: knock it off Charlie, followed by a hearty laugh.
Although the folks who have been the
recipients of my outbursts of anger wouldn’t make lite of it, each of them
would agree it paled in comparison to that of those evil people who brutally
rape, torture or murder their victims in an unspeakable manner. The monstrous
acts committed against little children in our society are legend and just as
hideous as the atrocities occurring in “hot spots” such as
Now allow me to ask you a question.
If it were possible to inoculate all human beings, including new born baby’s
the moment they leave their mother’s womb with an anti-anger vaccine which
would eradicate anger from our planet, would the world be a better place in
which to live? Can you imagine yourself never getting angry and having to
experience the often painful consequences of your behavior or being on the
other end of someone’s bitterness, hatred and contempt for you? Would living in
such an environment remind you of what it must be like being with the Lord in
Heaven?
Have you ever wondered what the root cause of
all our anger is? Perhaps then we could be able to get rid of it. Many folks
conclude that it’s a result of sin entering our world back in “The Garden of
Eden.” If only Adam and Eve hadn’t sinned you and I would never see any
expressions of anger. Do you think that’s the reason? If you do, you’re wrong.
Would you believe me if I were to tell you
that our anger is a
precious gift from our Creator God and as such it’s truly priceless? Well it is.
Furthermore, nowhere in the Bible will you find anything telling us to get rid
of it. By now some of you may be thinking, “not so fast Mike. Slow down. What
are we to make of the following warnings from the Apostle Paul?
Colossians 3:8 (ESV) 8 But now you must put them all away: anger, wrath, malice, slander, and obscene
talk from your mouth.
Ephesians 4:31 (ESV) 31 Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away
from you, along with all malice.
These verses do seen to be pretty
straightforward don’t they?” How can we get around them, especially when
they’re not isolated? Consider the following which are only a sampling.
Proverbs 21:19
(ESV) 19 It is better to live in a
desert land than with a
quarrelsome and fretful woman.
Psalms 37:8 (NKJV)
8 Cease from anger, and forsake wrath; Do not fret--it only causes
harm.
Think about how anger has sometimes
played out in the lives of well known Biblical characters. The first instance
of anger in human history was directed against God.
Genesis 4:5-6
(ESV) 5 but for Cain and his offering
he had no regard. So Cain was very angry, and his face fell. 6 The Lord said to Cain, "Why are
you angry, and why
has your face fallen?
Numbers 20:11-12
(ESV) 11 And Moses lifted up his hand
and struck the rock with
his staff twice, and water came out abundantly, and the congregation drank,
and their livestock. 12
And the Lord said to Moses and Aaron, "Because you did not
believe in me, to uphold me as holy in the eyes of the people of
Numbers 22:27
(ESV) 27 When the donkey saw the angel
of the Lord, she lay down under Balaam. And Balaam's anger was kindled, and he struck the donkey
with his staff.
2 Chronicles 16:10
(ESV) 10 Then Asa was angry with the seer and
put him in the stocks in prison, for he was in a rage with him because of this.
And Asa inflicted cruelties upon some of the people at the same time.
Jonah 4:4 (NKJV) 4 Then the Lord said, "Is it right for you to be angry?"
Ephesians 4:31
(NIV) 31 Get rid of all bitterness,
rage and anger,
brawling and slander, along with every form of malice.
Colossians 3:8
(NIV) 8 But now you must rid
yourselves of all such things as these: anger, rage, malice, slander, and filthy language
from your lips.
It’s obvious these sinful things would not have
occurred if human beings weren’t able to get angry in the first place. It also
seems as though the Apostle Paul is telling those first century Christians to
get rid of some things God considers to be sinful. Included in the list is
anger. Then can I say that our anger is a precious gift given to us by God?
For starters, I want to say two things. First,
some Bible verses don’t
always mean what they appear to be saying, but they do always mean what
they say. Secondly not only do I believe our anger is a precious gift
from God, but it’s so priceless that I wouldn’t want to get rid of my anger for
anything in the world. Paul’s letter to the Galatians provides additional
insight as to what he was speaking about in his letters to the Ephesians and
Colossians. Speaking about some of the sinful works of the flesh, Paul wrote:
Galatians 5:19-20
(ESV) 19 Now the works of the flesh are
evident: sexual immorality, impurity, sensuality, 20 idolatry, sorcery, enmity, strife,
jealousy, fits of anger, rivalries, dissensions,
divisions,
It isn’t our anger he warns us to
get rid of but rather a sinful expression of it. It’s one thing to be angry
with the person who cuts our hair mistakenly trimming off more than we wanted
as opposed to throwing a fit of rage and giving full vent to our anger.
Ephesians 4:26-27
(ESV) 26 Be angry and do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger, 27 and give no
opportunity to the devil.
In other words, by all means get angry if it’s
justified. The Holy Spirit inspired the Apostle Paul this issue. Consider the
following godly wish of a transparently honest angry apostle. Paul was speaking
about folks within the church who were disrupting the members by making a big
deal out of circumcision. Look at Paul’s heart-felt desire.
Galatians 5:12
(ESV) 12 I wish those who unsettle you
would emasculate
themselves!
Galatians 5:12
(AMP) 12 I wish those who unsettle and
confuse you would [go all
the way and] cut themselves off!
Paul wishes that those guys would castrate themselves. Cut the thing off. He is
speaking in righteous anger and there is a need for it to be expressed.
Throughout the past two thousand plus years followers of the Risen Savior have
become so angry that they rescued and took into their own homes new born
infants who were abandoned by their parents by the side of the road to be food
for wild animals and birds of prey. Godly anger was one of the driving forces in
the creation of the first hospitals and orphanages in the world. God used His
people’s anger to abolish slavery and partial birth abortion. And it was anger
that finally began the unmasking of the evil cover-up of predator priests.
Personally, a little over twenty five years
ago I couldn’t help being angry when I learned some of our down and out
neighbors were sleeping in railroad box cars and garbage dumpsters in order to
escape the ravages of our often brutal Vermont winters. A little later I
discovered that there was no place for the homeless to get a meal for their
dinner. I became very angry about the dilemma of the homeless, so much so, and
with the Lords blessing, He used me and several other angry citizens to found a
non-profit organization which today is known as “The Committee on
Temporary Shelter” and “The Friendly Kitchen”
at the Burlington Salvation Army. I could continue, but I know each of you have
the picture by now.
For His glory and the good of His creatures
the Lord God gave the gift of anger to each of them. Anger is an innate
instinct God placed within all human beings the capacity to become naturally aroused
and opposed to that which is wrong
or evil, so much so that we are strongly inclined to do something good
about it. It is intended to be harnessed and controlled for the betterment of
society as opposed to allowing our anger to control us and we quickly lash out
at someone with our tongue.
Although anger truly is a priceless gift from
our Creator there have been times when God’s children should have done
something but didn’t.
2 Corinthians
7:10-11 (AMP) 10 For godly grief and the
pain God is permitted to direct, produce a repentance that leads and
contributes to salvation and deliverance from evil, and it never brings
regret; but worldly grief (the hopeless sorrow that is characteristic of the
pagan world) is deadly [breeding and ending in death]. 11 For [you can look back now and]
observe what this same godly sorrow has done for you and has produced in
you: what eagerness and earnest care to explain and clear
yourselves [of all complicity in the condoning of incest], what indignation [at
the sin], what alarm, what yearning, what zeal [to do justice to all
concerned], what readiness to mete out punishment [to the offender]! At
every point you have proved yourselves cleared and guiltless in the
matter.
The Corinthian men finally came to their
senses and became angry with themselves for being so apathetic towards the
blatant sin of incest being engaged in by a professed Christian. So much so,
that they repented of their sin of tolerant silence. Prior to their repentance they were calloused
and indifferent. “Live and let live. You do your thing and I’ll do mine’ seemed
to have been their motto.
Initially there was no righteous indignation
any more that there is with all too many of today’s Americans concerning the
sin of homosexually. The newly released [May 29th]
I have already mentioned several examples of
some things God wants us to be aroused and angry and act. It’s our God given
responsibility to do something as simple as displaying a bumper sticker or writing
letters to the newspaper editor, or our elected lawmakers and reminding them
that often a single vote makes the difference in the outcome of an election.
In confronting another person we must guard
against coming across as a mean spirited in-your-face bitterly angry know-it
all. Instead, with a Christ-like spirit of humility we must speak the truth in
love by presenting it in a respectful manner and not attempt to ram it down the
other person’s throat. In other words, we must emulate Jesus by displaying a
genuine heart-felt love for the other person and a sincere hatred for his or
her sin. And then pray the Lord will be pleased to add His blessing to our
witness of love.
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